2019 News

Redheads Angry at Brunette Cast for The Little Mermaid

Sorry, Ariel. Don’t you know that red hair is such a 90’s look?

In a strange twist of events, singer-actress Halle Bailey has been cast for the lead role of Disney’s next live-action remake of The Little Mermaid. Not to be confused with African American actress Halle Berry, Bailey is a relatively fresh face in Hollywood and is mostly known through her music as one-half of R&B duo Chloe x Halle.

The announcement has shocked many fans but none more so than redheads, given Bailey is a dark brunette and her character Ariel is one of the most famous redheads in film.

“No one ever cares about us anymore”, writes one angry redhead fan online. “For years, people have looked at us like we’re inbred or have a disease, and now Hollywood is taking one of our heroes [Ariel] away from us and turning her into a brunette. It’s a disgrace.”

“Who the f**k is Halle Bailey anyways?”.

Even famous Hollywood A-list redhead actresses have expressed their shock and anger.

“Once again, I have been f**ked over by some bimbo looking brunette”, weeps a teary Amy Adams. “When I was a little girl getting bullied for having red hair, I used to runaway home to go read my favourite book, The Little Mermaid and it made me feel happy again.”

“This would have been a dream role. I’m devastated”.

Disney is set to start production on the remake later this year.


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