2019 News

Tsunami Created by Godzilla’s Ocean Poop Kills Millions 

Millions have been killed due to a freakish tsunami off the coast of California. The cause: Godzilla’s poop.

After a four-year slumber, the king of monsters has returned and with him, immense destruction in his wake. But it seems that while most have come to expect such devastation from the beast, nobody thought a gigantic tsunami could be created when the animal decided it was time to relieve himself in the ocean.

The three-kilometre high tsunami was the second largest recorded in the history of the Earth. Experts are stating that there hasn’t been such mass extinction from a tidal event since the age of dinosaurs.

Survivors from the scene have reported that they first notice something was wrong when the waves turned brown. “It looked like mud” says one witness. “At first we thought it was just really sandy but then it became like real thick. Almost like a chocolate milkshake with pieces of choc chip in it”.

Geologists estimate the time and location the monster released his bowels was at 7:23 AM and some 37 km from Santa Monica beach. By 7:27 AM, the gigantic wave had already made landfall.

What was once a prospering city filled with Hollywood razzle and dazzle, has now become a brown wasteland filled with rumble. It’s unclear when the devastation could be cleaned up, but President Trump has already conscripted every plumber in the country to help out.

The United States Government has also requested assistance from the best plumbers around the world to help the cause. Australia’s Prime Minister Scott Morrison has already announced that he will be sending famed plumbing legend Kenny to lead a crack taskforce for the mission.




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