2019 News

Zombieland Fans Hold Candlelight Vigil to Pray Sequel Won’t Suck

The first trailer for Zombieland 2 has been released and fans are already praying it won’t be shit.

Millions from all over the world are currently in the middle of candlelight vigils that have been organised by a small but dedicated group die-hard Zombieland fans. Though most are positive about what they saw in the trailer, the group says they’re no stranger to being burnt by modern comedy sequels.

“This is isn’t our first rodeo,” weeps a hopeful fan. “Zoolander 2, Kindergarten Cop 2, Hot Dub Time Machine 2, they were all shit. A trailer is meant to make you excited to see a film by giving you a teaser to make you want more. But it’s literally only two minutes’ worth of footage.”

“Which is why we’re here praying to God they don’t f**k it up [Zombieland 2] because you never know what’s going to happen.”

Others online have also expressed their concern after realising who the director was.

“Ah, f**k. It’s Ruben Fleischer,” says Reddit user aviciisnotdead33. “The man who started off great but then went on to do 30 Minutes or Less, Gangster Squad and Venom. This movie’s going to f**king dog shit.”

“We’re going to need all the thoughts and prayers we can get”.

While critics have said that the incredible act of human co-operation is secretly an attempt to steal the Guinness Book of World Record for “Largest Gathering” from the Muslim Community, these fans remain steadfast in their conviction.

“We just want a good sequel for once. Is that too much to ask?”

You can catch the trailer for Zombieland 2 here.

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